I want to say, I cleared the air with a couple of Tom's siblings. The one who told me that I wasn't one of her kids and needed to butt out, has since apologized. The other siblings were unaware that this had happened- apparently the one who'd said they had all discussed that I needed to "butt out" had not, in fact, spoken to the others.
Arlene's surgery yesterday went much differently than we had been told it could go. The artificial hip was sanitized and left in place, with a drain shunt put in so that infection could continue to drain away. There is supposed to be an additional surgery at a future point. The why's and what-for are unknown to me at this time.
Tom's eldest sister arrived at the hospital this morning to a room full of medical personnel. Arlene suffered a mild stroke. This was confirmed by a CAT scan. She will be re-checked tomorrow, but is doing fine. Her speech is slightly slurred, and part of her face is drooping. She is alert and in good spirits.
So much stress is lifted off me. I continue to pray for her full recovery, and for wisdom of what to do when the time comes that she can go home.
Thank you for your continued prayers.
Friday, January 3, 2020
Thursday, January 2, 2020
It's a New Year...
Edit: Arlene is out of surgery and in less pain! Starts PT tomorrow.
Yesterday was the first day of a new decade.
I am not pleased with the start. Sometimes I wish we had do-overs for Life.
Mr C's mom, Arlene is in the hospital to remove the artificial hip that was installed Dec 17 of 2018. She's been in constant pain since April. An infection set in, which I could not understand WHY her surgeon didn't plan to treat BEFORE surgery. Just seemed like SUCH a bad idea, to do surgery with a known rampant infection! (Her original surgeon was going to try to go in and 'fix' the problems caused by the original hip surgery. He has kept her dangling about a surgery date since early November, and said he wasn't going to treat for infection until after the yet to be scheduled surgery.)
I called her on the 25th, Christmas day. She was home alone, in bed, unable to get comfortable. She told me her leg was swollen from the infection, and she was basically living from pain pill to pain pill, and so tired of hurting. I offered to call her Doctors and try to hurry them along in getting her leg fixed, but she said her Doc was out of the country til the 6th.
The people who take care of her had gone off to other places for various Christmas celebrations, and were to be gone at least a couple of days- she said she wasn't informed of when they would return. So, Christmas alone in her bed, with toast and jelly to eat when she could manage to get up and make herself some.
We don't celebrate the holiday- but my heart broke for her, as a person who does, to be left alone and in pain on the holiday people tout as being all about "giving".
When she failed to call Tom on his birthday, he called her the next day. Two of his sisters were there. They had arrived that morning. Arlene was in bed, unable to get comfortable sitting or standing- or, as it turned out, even laying down. The sisters said that Arlene's leg was so swollen it had gone numb, and was oozing liquid through her skin onto the sheets. They said she didn't want to go to the Doctor, and they had already tried calling her surgeon, only to learn he was out of the country til the 6th. (Just as she'd already told me, they didn't know why she hadn't told them as much!)
Her leg is swollen, numb, and oozing! I'm sorry, but that is major alarm bells for me. I suggested they not give her a choice on going to the ER, like NOW.
A few hours later, they let us know they ER had admitted her for at least 2 days of IV antibiotics. The staff orthopedic surgeon on call came by. He said the infection was due to her body rejecting the prosthesis. They couldn't clear up the infection completely as long as the replacement hip was in her body. Her choices were all pretty grim. Remove the prosthesis, and have no structure supporting the leg/ pelvis on one side, OR remove the entire leg. He gave the sisters a third choice, take her home to die. He didn't have good odds of her surviving the surgery.
So, the next thing we hear, is Arlene is being transported to the big Riverside Hospital in Columbus, to have a Greenfield IVC filter placed in her body. They were transporting her Tuesday, with the IVC filter to be inserted Wednesday, we were told, and the hip prosthesis removed by one of their surgeons on Thursday. (That is today, as I write.) I waited ALL DAY Wednesday for word that Arlene made it through the IVC procedure. (If you clicked on the link and did any reading about an IVC filter, you might understand why I was so concerned.) Late in the afternoon, Sam's phone rang. It was Mr C's brother, trying to reach Arlene's cousin. He didn't give us ANY information, other than dialed Sam by mistake.
I tried returning his call, but he was too busy to talk to me, he'd return my call after he reached his mom's cousin.
Eventually, he returned my call. Seems he was the THIRD person to reach the cousin, TWO of the three sisters had already called her. Yet no one had called, or even TEXTED us. The IVC filter had been placed the night before, with success. I've been waiting ALL DAY for an update. The abruptness and urgency of needing to call the cousin had me fully alarmed. Tom had had the cell, so I thought they must of texted him... but no. No one had made ANY attempt to keep us in the loop of what is going on.
So here I sit today, waiting on an update on the surgery. Tom is at work, as unconcerned as ever. "We can't do anything about any of it anyway". He fails to comprehend WHY I am even upset.
His siblings outright told me last year that this is not MY mom, I should butt out and leave her care to them. They had discussed me between themselves and as an aggregate, felt I should mind my own business. Yes, my feelings are still hurt. I try to mind my own business, but not to the point of standing by and letting her DIE without medical care. Yet once I push for medical care- I am an outsider again.
Thanks for listening., and praying for Arlene, even if she isn't MY mother.
Yesterday was the first day of a new decade.
I am not pleased with the start. Sometimes I wish we had do-overs for Life.
Mr C's mom, Arlene is in the hospital to remove the artificial hip that was installed Dec 17 of 2018. She's been in constant pain since April. An infection set in, which I could not understand WHY her surgeon didn't plan to treat BEFORE surgery. Just seemed like SUCH a bad idea, to do surgery with a known rampant infection! (Her original surgeon was going to try to go in and 'fix' the problems caused by the original hip surgery. He has kept her dangling about a surgery date since early November, and said he wasn't going to treat for infection until after the yet to be scheduled surgery.)
I called her on the 25th, Christmas day. She was home alone, in bed, unable to get comfortable. She told me her leg was swollen from the infection, and she was basically living from pain pill to pain pill, and so tired of hurting. I offered to call her Doctors and try to hurry them along in getting her leg fixed, but she said her Doc was out of the country til the 6th.
The people who take care of her had gone off to other places for various Christmas celebrations, and were to be gone at least a couple of days- she said she wasn't informed of when they would return. So, Christmas alone in her bed, with toast and jelly to eat when she could manage to get up and make herself some.
We don't celebrate the holiday- but my heart broke for her, as a person who does, to be left alone and in pain on the holiday people tout as being all about "giving".
When she failed to call Tom on his birthday, he called her the next day. Two of his sisters were there. They had arrived that morning. Arlene was in bed, unable to get comfortable sitting or standing- or, as it turned out, even laying down. The sisters said that Arlene's leg was so swollen it had gone numb, and was oozing liquid through her skin onto the sheets. They said she didn't want to go to the Doctor, and they had already tried calling her surgeon, only to learn he was out of the country til the 6th. (Just as she'd already told me, they didn't know why she hadn't told them as much!)
Her leg is swollen, numb, and oozing! I'm sorry, but that is major alarm bells for me. I suggested they not give her a choice on going to the ER, like NOW.
A few hours later, they let us know they ER had admitted her for at least 2 days of IV antibiotics. The staff orthopedic surgeon on call came by. He said the infection was due to her body rejecting the prosthesis. They couldn't clear up the infection completely as long as the replacement hip was in her body. Her choices were all pretty grim. Remove the prosthesis, and have no structure supporting the leg/ pelvis on one side, OR remove the entire leg. He gave the sisters a third choice, take her home to die. He didn't have good odds of her surviving the surgery.
So, the next thing we hear, is Arlene is being transported to the big Riverside Hospital in Columbus, to have a Greenfield IVC filter placed in her body. They were transporting her Tuesday, with the IVC filter to be inserted Wednesday, we were told, and the hip prosthesis removed by one of their surgeons on Thursday. (That is today, as I write.) I waited ALL DAY Wednesday for word that Arlene made it through the IVC procedure. (If you clicked on the link and did any reading about an IVC filter, you might understand why I was so concerned.) Late in the afternoon, Sam's phone rang. It was Mr C's brother, trying to reach Arlene's cousin. He didn't give us ANY information, other than dialed Sam by mistake.
I tried returning his call, but he was too busy to talk to me, he'd return my call after he reached his mom's cousin.
Eventually, he returned my call. Seems he was the THIRD person to reach the cousin, TWO of the three sisters had already called her. Yet no one had called, or even TEXTED us. The IVC filter had been placed the night before, with success. I've been waiting ALL DAY for an update. The abruptness and urgency of needing to call the cousin had me fully alarmed. Tom had had the cell, so I thought they must of texted him... but no. No one had made ANY attempt to keep us in the loop of what is going on.
So here I sit today, waiting on an update on the surgery. Tom is at work, as unconcerned as ever. "We can't do anything about any of it anyway". He fails to comprehend WHY I am even upset.
His siblings outright told me last year that this is not MY mom, I should butt out and leave her care to them. They had discussed me between themselves and as an aggregate, felt I should mind my own business. Yes, my feelings are still hurt. I try to mind my own business, but not to the point of standing by and letting her DIE without medical care. Yet once I push for medical care- I am an outsider again.
Thanks for listening., and praying for Arlene, even if she isn't MY mother.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)