Saturday, March 17, 2012

What Can I Do....

When someone you know loses a loved one, you just feel so helpless. You want to heal their hurt, but that isn't something within your power.
So many times in the past week, I have encountered the small kindnesses that really do help.
I am not only listing things that were done for us, but things that you might be able to do to ease the way for someone whose life has just been immobilized by grief.

  • Field phone calls. Try to make sure that people who need to be made aware of the death get the news .
  • Make sure the family members have something to wear to the funeral. Perhaps take  the kids who have outgrown their Sunday Best shopping. Be sure they have the necessary shoes, undergarments and such clean.
  • Polishing shoes and running a load or two of clothes may seem like so little, but it is yet another chore removed from the family.
  • If the family has to travel to reach a funeral, you might wash their car. Fill it with gas. Bring a gift of travel snacks.
  • Mow the lawn if it needs it.
  • Water houseplants.
  • Be sure the pets are being fed and watered.
  • Bring in the mail. A simple box or basket near the door can hold cards and such from sympathisers.
  • Clean the bathroom. Make sure there is enough bathroom tissue, soap, and facial tissue in the house.
  • Wash dishes, run the dishwasher, vaccuum the floors.
  • Babysit, or take the children out for a few hours. A romp in the park can really help the little ones.
  • A hug, an ear to listen.

I am thinking of all the things that were done for us. I am going to save this list, and if you can think of anything to add, leave it in a comment.

My heart is working on a post about Bill, and all that has swirled around me this last week. The more my brain "writes" this post, the longer it gets. Maybe it will be my first book.

Thank you, everyone, for all your notes, thoughts, prayers. As I have said so many times in my blog posts... give a loved one a hug today. tell them that you love them. It may be the last chance you get.


Kim said...


I am so sorry for your loss. I wish I lived nearby so I could give you a huge hug in person and be one of the ones to help you and your family in their time of need. Please know that you and your family are on my heart and in my prayers.

Truth said...

Thank-you for sharing this. I too wish I lived close enough to share your burden in a tangible way.

Keep writing!

Mom said...

a kazillion hugs, and I wish I could bestow them each and every one in arms are around you every moment in my thoughts. Your list is a great idea..a lot of times we don't think past the cards and or flowers in times like these. I love you so much! Mom