Saturday, March 1, 2014

March 1th

As my dreaded anniversary approaches, I am noticing physical ailments- as last year at this time when I had a full blown arthritis flare.
I think psychosomatic... where the pain is all imagined. But still, the mind is pretty powerful and I do hurt. Emotionally, not as much as last year, and certainly not as debilitatingly as the year before.

I know the anniversary of Bill's death is coming. I dread the anniversary... yet the days leading up to it are in some ways worse. Our last weeks worth of conversations, our last visit. What I didn't see coming that I should of seen...

My friend Robin, who reminded me of Psalm 139:16 "Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them."

That verse helped me. God knew all of Bill's days before he was even born.

The one year anniversary of Robin's passing is the 12, two days after Bill's two year anniversary. Robin was Bill Joe's Godmother.

I'm not surprised at having physical pain over mental anguish... Add Roger, and Granny, and Toby, and June, and Laurie... it has been a lot of loss in the last couple of years.

Goodnight friends! Thank you for reading.

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