Adjusting to the New Normal

Oh yeah.  "Normal" is a setting on the dryer. It doesn't really tell us very much, except our clothes ought to dry without too many wrinkles.

It was just a few days in to our new journey that we concluded that artificial food coloring IS an issue. We have been working hard to avoid it.
The days are mostly peaceful. I've been having a LOT of stress and stress related headaches. Having tachycardia (high heart rate) and my blood pressure has been higher than usual.

I have been dealing with trying to make wellness visits to the doctor. Dentist appointments, as it's been awhile since she's seen a dentist (2 years according to her records sent to me, and looking at her teeth). I can't change her Primary Care Provider without re-applying to her coverage provider with our information... and we don't qualify. She can't be added to our insurance without a judge granting guardianship. The paperwork we have is "permissive" guardianship, not legal. I CAN take her to the doctor in an emergency.
In dealing with trying to get her a bank account, I find I need a photo ID for her. This requires her actual SS card, and a legal copy of her birth certificate- not a copy of a copy.
We are going to have to talk to a lawyer ourselves.

Seems like every time I speak with Grandpa Glenn, I get overly stressed out. I don't know if he is just trying to make conversation, or what.
He questioned me about the number of children my daughter has, whether she's going to have more, and whether or not she's ever heard of birth control.
He asked about Sam, when does Sam finish school? I told him Sam graduated Arkansas College of Electricity a couple of weeks ago. "So now he's gonna be out there looking for a job? Good luck with THAT! So now that he's graduated, are you looking at getting him out of the house, having him make his own way?"
He didn't believe that Sam has worked his way through college, is gainfully employed, and pays us rent every month.
None of these things are even remotely his business. If he were just enquiring to be polite, he should restrain his opinions on the matter.
I believe it may be due to unforgiveness on my part. I keep having 'flashbacks' to the night we arrived at his house after Bill died. All the grief of losing a son, and he is standing behind me, going over his record book of all the wrongs he has recorded that Bill had done since he had known him.
I tense up, I start shaking, and pretty soon my heart is racing, my head is pounding, and I am in tears.
I THOUGHT I had forgiven him, but my body is reacting as it did that night.
I remind myself, he has tried to do what he could in raising Nickole. I was upset over his remarks that "now we are getting a taste of what he's gone through with her and her ways!"
I really have no idea what he means. He says stuff like that every summer, and we have never had any problems. She may be reluctant to try new foods, but many kids are. We make her try them anyway- and she has discovered she LIKES many things she didn't know she would like.
It makes me wonder how much of the problems he has with her is based on her body's response to the foods she was eating.

Nickole found a cookbook for children at the library. She's been anxious to try many of the recipes. Eager to help in the kitchen. (Until actual help is asked for!) (At least she's showing an interest, on her own terms.) When she gets up this morning, she is going to learn to make Grancakes. My own recipe... which she has loved to eat every time she visits. Today, the secrets will be revealed.

Grancakes

1 very ripe banana

2  eggs (3 if they are small)

1 cup of uncooked oatmeal

1/4 tsp.  aluminum free baking powder

1/2  tsp.(or more to taste) vanilla 

1/4 tsp. salt

Heat heavy skillet or griddle, lightly oiled.

In food processor, grind oatmeal to bits that cannot be identified as oats.

Peel ripe banana, add to food processor. 

Add remaining ingredients, and process to a smooth batter.

Pour out into desired sized pancakes on hot skillet.

Carefully flip as the bottom side browns lightly.

Finish cooking. (both sides lightly browned and set)

Serve as desired with: butter, syrup, whipped topping, fresh fruit, powdered sugar

****************

Nickole will not even TRY a banana. She won't eat oatmeal, even in a cookie. Yet, she begs for these pancakes. They are high in protein & fiber, gluten free, sugar free and basically fat free (before toppings). 

From time to time,  I add spices to the batter. Cinnamon, nutmeg, a hint of ginger.  Try adding pecans or walnuts for a banana bread flavor.

Third Day

Today is our third day of the new adventure, Parenting A Grandchild.
Thankfully, we have had no blow ups or major issues.

We are learning more about one another's likes and dislikes. I absolutely despise being patted on the head. (Stems from a condescending Doctor who had to reach UP to pat me on the head when I was a teen.) This is a deep loathing I have had.
Nickole has been patting me on the head. I finally, politely asked her to NOT do that.
She explained how she LOVES to be patted on the head. It is a gesture of affection for her.
I realized I am not a particularly demonstrative person, with a child who NEEDS to be hugged, touched, and patted. Knowing this, I am making an effort to give and receive hugs (and head pats... without shuddering).

We are finding our way through meals. I am making small accommodations to her dislikes, and she is making efforts to eat what I make. I find we have both given one another The Look of "Really?".

We have had a couple of - I hesitate to say "compromises"- more of picking my battles. She is into zombies. I . am. NOT.
Yesterday, we went to the library. Nickole got signed up for the Summer Reading Program, and now also has her very own library card. I was telling Mr. C, "Now, if Nickole damages one of their books, they take HER to jail instead of me!"
Oh my, the look she had!
"You signed the paperwork, didn't you?"
"Yes, but I didn't know it said THAT!"
"Did you read it before you signed it?"
"No..... ...."
"Oh, man. You should ALWAYS read things before you sign them. You better be REALLY careful to take care of the library's books."
"I WILL!"
(Her library book was something containing Teenage Zombies.  Ugh. Chose not to make it an issue.) Also learned our library has the entire Rush Revere collection. I got Rush Revere and The Brave Pilgrims.  I read the Forward aloud, then had Nickole read the Prologue. She used her most bored, unexcited monotone... until she discovered she LIKED this book. Then some character crept into her voice.  We put it away after the Prologue, and picked up at Chapter One in the evening. I read, and she snuggled close by, begging me to "keep reading" every time I had to stop for a sip of water.

The reading aloud last night came about after some discussion about a movie.
Nickole has a child sized recliner she brought with her. It was filthy and stank. We got some upholstery cleaner yesterday, and she worked on cleaning it up. In her cleaning, she found a movie disk, "Coraline", down in the depths of recliner guts. She asked Mr C and Sam to watch a movie with her when they got home. Tom had to fix the car first, and it took awhile. After he ate, she got the movie. Tom asked if it was going to go over past bedtime, as he was pretty tired. I looked up the movie online, to find the running time.
In looking it up, we found that it was PG-13. HORROR genre. Sex, violence, language, and adult situations.
Uh.. 
.... NO.
We are NOT going to watch this movie.
"But I have already seen it. It's one of my FAVORITES. It only gave me nightmares at FIRST, but now it doesn't!"

We aren't watching it. I am at a loss as to why any adult would think it "OK" to allow a kid who wasn't even 10 years old ("It was lost a few years ago, who knew it was in my recliner all that time?") to see it in the first place? It only gave her nightmares "at first".

I really don't know WHAT to do with the disk. My thought is to throw it in the trash. But it isn't MINE. I put it up where it is unlikely to be encountered as I figure that one out.
*************

It looks like our household is going to need to undergo a dietary makeover.  While I am not yet certain, I strongly suspect Nickole is sensitive to food dyes. I MAY be sensitive to CORN... and hoo boy, not only is corn in most everything, I often use corn products to fill in for myself when others have gluten. Tom wants to lose weight, Sam wants to eat less sugar. So, I need to work around no gluten, dyes,  corn, weight conscious, using lower sugar, lower sodium foods . I'm thinking this may be a bit gradual overall- not replacing items as we run out. (Thought I was out of wheat flour, but Sam had stashed a bag!) I just ran out of corn starch. I have a package each of flour and of corn tortillas to use up by those who may. We have a supply of tortilla chips, and frozen corn to get through. I can just avoid those myself as we use them up. I checked a few of the snacks, and so far none have artificial dyes.

Today's breakfast is Grancakes. Nickole loves my pancakes, but in summers past, I have had to make them before she gets up, as she doesn't like oatmeal in ANY form, nor bananas. My pancakes are ground oats, obliterated bananas, and eggs. (vanilla, salt and baking powder). Don't ask, don't tell! Or, if asked, deflect without lying.

The Welcome Project

Grand Daughter Nickole has been granted her wish to come and live with us. This was basically a start from scratch opportunity to put a room together that I hope she will like. The only purchased furniture was the bed and the

Night stand from a "pickin'" sale. Was  beige and gold.

 night stand. I think all together I have spent under $150., including paint and all new bedding.

The bed. Uncle Tommy brought it up and assembled it. Bedding from Walmart ties the color scheme (or lack thereof) together. Small lamp has a hummingbird motif.

From the head of the bed, window on the left, closet ahead, door to hall is on the right. Another small shelf I've had forever, repainted and repurposed!

The heart shaped light switch cover was in a different room of the house when we bought the place. Fresh paint! Little "clothesline" of pictures sports tiny clothespins.

Overhead light off. Picture of her Daddy in the frame, with a picture of Nickole- frame and Nickole photo are from her cousin Kimber. Mirror is 30+ years old, a garage sale find from GiGi many years ago. Butterflies have been around since the 90's sometime, now with new paint. Paul Hancock (my godfather) made me the square in square display shelf in the 80's. The shelf unit was a school garage sale find from back before my Mom (GiGi) retired. Baskets on the shelf unit were Aldi finds. Curtains were Great Grammy Kathie's contribution. Most everything has a new coat of paint.
Stars on the ceiling were there when we moved in- I love them!