Goodbye, 2009

This is the last day of the year. It has been a year full of hope, and of disappointment. A year of joy, and anguish.

Some things have remained the same... Tom and I, and Ben, are all still at our same jobs, living in the same house. I tried and failed at having a garden. The twins are still homeschooling, and blooming into fine young men.

Much of the anguish and sorrow of the year never made it into my blog posts... which are mainly a way of keeping in touch with my family, and the family all knew what was happening without setting it out here. The joys, I always feel free in sharing with the world!

I got two new granddaughters this year, both of them counted among the joys of the year.

From the disappointments and anguish, I hope that I have both learned, and been able to demonstrate, the essence of a true, loving family. At times, I know I met hurt with anger... but I strove to overcome the anger so the hurts could begin to heal.

My family has always had a very strange sense of humor. Some say there is 'inappropriate laughter'... but for us, laughter is healing... and we laugh when maybe we should cry instead.

(When Tom's nephew passed away, 9 years ago in January, the twins were 4 years old. We had traveled to Ohio for his funeral. The "viewing" was the night before, and we were at the funeral home for hours. The next day, we headed back to the funeral home, a 100 mile trip. Sam remarked that he thought we had done the funeral the night before. Trying to explain things to a 4 year old, I told him that today, we were going to have to bury his cousin. Sam asked if maybe we should be taking shovels along, then, and not having to be so dressed up?

I'm sorry, we all laughed.)

So this year has been filled with laughter. Even when we had tears.

This is a year that has been filled with 'starting over' for much of my family. What we all really wanted was a rewind button... a "do-over" button... that would take us back in time. That being impossible, we have had to settle for starting over again in many ways.

I am looking forward to 2010... a new beginning.