Thursday, August 28, 2008

Thoughts on Loss

Becky and I learned yesterday that a friend of ours miscarried her baby. This little one was a much looked for blessing. Becky and I talked about how much each little life means to a family. She said that before she had Ty, she really didn't understand the depth of grief a person goes through with a miscarriage.

We cannot fathom God's plans for our lives. Becky was my baby that came on the heels of a miscarriage. She has heard me speak of Phillip Andrew all her life. Yet, if he had been born- the baby that became Becky would not have ever been. We cannot know how the fabric of our lives would have been changed if things had not happened as they did. Would things be subtley different, or would the changes have been vast?

At the time I miscarried, I was afraid to tell Tom. He knew I had begun to spot and cramp, but told me if I had enough faith, the baby would be fine. He slept through the ordeal, and it was several days before he found out. Each time I tried to talk to him, he would shush me and tell me I had to only speak life and faith. The life was gone- I could not see how faith was going to restore THIS child to my womb. I finally went to the preacher who taught at the Bible Study we attended, and asked her to help me understand how faith was going to revoke what had already happened. She sat Tom down and made him listen to me.

Our faith rests in God to do what best suits his plans for our lives, as difficult as that is for us to bear at times.

Over the years, I have learned that God has His plans. He did restore life to me. Many times over. First with Becky, then with four more strong and perfect sons. None were the child I lost, but each was God's special gift.

My prayers are with my friend Laurie and her family. I pray that life soon be restored to her womb. I hold her in my prayers as she grieves this baby.

2 comments:

Laurie said...

Thank you, Tammy! You have no idea how much this post means to me!

truth said...

That is a hard thing to go through. I know I had my loss between my 3rd and 4th child. It took me 8 months before I got pregnant with the 4th, but I felt that same way. I never would have had Sarabeth if I hadn't miscarried the other one at 12 weeks. Sigh. Loss is hard, but God is good.