Monday, April 7, 2008

Lessons Learned the Hard way

My second son has always been accident prone. Perhaps because he was so full of wonderful ideas that just didn't work out.

He obtained one of the best (or would that be worst?) black eyes I have ever seen, at the age of four. We lived in a very small house that happened to have a big back yard. It had a concrete back porch (deck? patio?) that was elevated about two feet off the ground, and had a low wooden rail around it. Bill liked to 'walk the balance beam' on this rail.

One rainy day, he decided to see if he could reach the power lines leading into our house. With an aluminum pole he had been using to help himself balance on the wooden railing.

Thankfully, he fell off the rail and (only) blacked his eye instead!

When he explained to me just how his accident had happened, I threw up from fear calmly explained to Bill why he should not touch power lines with metal poles. His black eye lasted weeks- and he was very proud of it.

Another mishap in the same backyard sent us to the Emergency Room. Bill was attempting to drink water through a long metal tube- probably the same one mentioned above. He was trying to suck up the dogs water using the pipe as a straw. I don't know if he slipped, or if Big Brother gave him a shove- but he cut a deep circle into the underside of his tongue. He was examined at the ER- and we were told that there was NOTHING they could do to repair the underside of the tongue. He was given a Popsicle and we were sent home. (His first tongue piercing!)

Once, Bill decided that since "floaties" (inflatable arm bands that help young swimmers stay afloat) worked so well to keep a person from sinking under the water, he should be able to use them to walk on top of the water. Nice theory, pretty good reasoning for a kid his age. He hadn't studied physics yet.

It is a good thing Big Brother Chris was there.

Another famous experiment was flying off the barn. The barn Bill used had fairly low eaves. He climbed atop the barn, and with some assistance from his older (but not any wiser) brother, used duct tape to secure a tarp around his wrists and ankles. Think Rocky the Flying Squirrel.

Visualize a belly flop off a roof top into a sun baked cow pasture.


I have had many scares with Bill, but he always makes life interesting.

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