Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Things My Kids Don't Say

"I'm Bored". You can only be bored if you lack something to do. I can give you something to do. You would probably have more fun thinking of your own entertainment than doing what I assign you to do- because once I tell you to do it- it WILL be done.

A second "Pleeeeease can I" after being told No. Whining and begging does NOT bring about your desired results.

"I'm NOT eating THAT!" You will at least TRY it. Several actual bites of trying it. Gagging yourself is setting you up for trouble. You do not offer negative opinions on food being served. And if I serve it again sometime, you will be trying it again. (if I can choke down eat bell peppers, you can eat a few bites of whatever is set in front of you.)

"Bad words" My oldest children might punctuate every utterance with undesirable language, but they were NOT raised that way.
If I were still responsible for their words, I would carry a bar of soap ... or a jar of mayonnaise to warm for them to gargle.
Yes, Bad Words do escape from me, the Parental Unit, from time to time. They are very effective at expressing extreme displeasure -when they are seldom employed. My former co-workers can tell you- probably an exact count- of the times they heard me use Bad Words. My Dad always told me foul language was a sure sign of a limited vocabulary... and if there is one thing my family doesn't lack- it is vocabulary.

"He MADE me do it". Doesn't fly.

"He hit me for NO REASON" Next Time you hit him, you BETTER have a reason! Effective whine stopper. Plus, I can't say I ever had a kid hit another kid totally unprovoked. Not that they get to go around walloping one another with impunity.

"Where are my shoes/ where is my ____?" Gosh, I can't remember where I left your shoes, put your ____ when I was done with it. Go look for them/it.

"It's not my turn/ day (on the task just given)" It is NOW. Ok, so if I am wrong on whose turn it is to do what chore, I will stand to be corrected. However, if it is a request for a simple thing to be done- you don't argue, you do it!

"He got MORE than me" Too bad, so sad.

I'm just a mean parent, as you can tell. You may have noticed my job description in my profile.

3 comments:

Becky said...

I NEVER GET TO DO ANNNNYYYYTHIIING!!

truth said...

Love these! I grew up never hearing my parents swear, so I never developed the habit (although I tried in my teens.) So I am baffled when I hear my older kids say things I'd deem inappropriate.

sassy_seneca said...

a mom after my own heart.... just wish more women were like you, it would make my job a lot easier